Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
