if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
