i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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