i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
