Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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