it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
