I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you would pick up someone in the library
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
