obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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