Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
