I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so that wasnt chicken after all
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
