Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
