u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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