Have you finally orgasmed yet?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The air was thick with penises
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
