I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
