youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
