I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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