i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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