I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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