He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
