I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Boobs are out for the taking
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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