I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
