dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
