Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
