im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
These tits shall not be calmed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.