I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice