Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.