I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it because I queefed?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.