so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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