i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
