census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
