piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Randomize
