This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
