; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
