i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
