i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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