Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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