Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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