he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
