tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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