I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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