Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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