Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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