im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
