remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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