you would pick up someone in the library
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
