why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
