idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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