we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
