(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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