So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
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you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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