Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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