This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
