I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize