so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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