Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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