I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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