we're blogging at a bar
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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