Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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