Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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