Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
